Qwick Update.

Well I've been off of here for awhile now.   A few things to update:

1.  I've been having some health issues that have keep me off of the mat.
      - I ended up getting an infection (kidney) that has really messed up my body.
      - As a result of the kidney infection I ended up with a urinary tract infection that is still giving me problems.
      - continued problems with digestion and stomach.
      - major acne breakout on my chest.

2.  Depression came roaring back (perhaps accentuated by the kidney infection and the myriad of health problems since?).

3.  Problems with work - co-workers (one in particular) have made work an less than enjoyable place to be.

4.  financial problems - it just seems that I'm barely making it to my next pay check.  Working to pay bills and just the everyday things in life (gas - I wish their were viable and affordable options to using a petro based vehicle). 

Because of the above problems I've not had the energy nor the desire to train (although it is on my mind all the time).  I'm still dealing with the symptoms from the infection and it is starting to become worrisome.  I try not to think of the worst but it is hard not to.

I'm going to be scheduling an appointment with my doctor again next week to try and get things figured out or at least start to finding out what may be the problem.

I had tried training about a month and a half ago to less than desirable results.  To start off my conditioning was awful and as a result I could not last more than 30 seconds going at a mild pace.  The breakouts on my chest were still bad (I had been on the antibiotics for about 2 weeks at that time) and they were busting open and bleeding - which is a concern in regards to infection and a did bear on me mentally.  I was also, for whatever reason, bleeding at the drop of a hat.  Little scrapes would not stop bleeding.  I ended up only training for about a 20 mins then called it a night and a day (for about a month and half.).

I still want to train, I still have my goals and reasons for continuing this long journey.  It has just taken a detour.  I'm not sure what will happen in the next few weeks - as I will be going to see my doctor and begin the process of trying to figure out what is up with me.  Mentally, the sun is out (spring time), I have noticed a slight change in my mood with the added sunlight.  Winter was really wearing on me.  Waking up and leaving for work when it was still dark out and not getting home till it was dark - that is not the dream.

I  managed to make it in this past week to train.  I'm on my Easter break and taking care (house sitting) the parents house while they are off with my sisters and kids in California (Disneyland).  I'm pretty much isolated out at my parents house (no internet).  I do have cell phone service (somewhat).   I happened to check my phone and facebook on Monday afternoon and noticed that one of the guys from the gym was going to open the academy up for an open mat.  I ended up driving the 3hrs to go train and it was very good for the soul to be back doing what I need to be doing, doing the one thing that never lets me down.

I compare BJJ to having a girlfriend (or boyfriend - whatever the case may be).  As it is a relationship, a relationship that gives back whatever I put into it.  Is always there and has never let me down; unlike every relationship that I've ever been in.

While I've been on hiatus I've been watching video clips, reading articles, etc that have anything to do with BJJ.  Anyhow I had seen the video of Keenan Cornelius doing an armbar from 50/50 guard.  Having trained at, and being a fan of, Ryan Hall's gym I have played around with the 50/50 guard but I'm not at the level where I can heel-hook ( I also rarely do no-gi anymore) so I really did not see many options from this guard; other than sweeping.  Anyhow, this offers up a cool possibility for me.  I even played around with trying to get the armbar from 50/50 on Monday night - to very little success.  Here is the clip of the armbar from 50/50:



This was from the recent PanAms Jiu Jitsu tournament.  Also at this particular tournament we may have seen the passing of the guard in featherweight division.  Rafa Mendes has been on a tear and was neck in neck with Ruben Charles (Cobrinha) for the top dog in that particular division.  But at this years past PanAms Rafa dispatched of Cobrinha in stunning fashion (armbar).  Here is the clip;



I've also been wanting to try the following pass (demonstrated by Caio Terra) but having been on off of the mats for so long I had not had a chance to try it out.  Well i tried it out a few times on Monday night and had some success; all things considered (mind you I have not trained in over a month and a half and before that it had been at least a few weeks since I had trained).  It is a very high percentage pass from what I've been told and just with my little bit of experience with it it is indeed a high percentage pass (passing the butterfly guard). 



I have to iron out some details but I definitely think this will be added to my arsenal (such as it is).  A friend of mine informed me that he knows it as the Terere pass; I consulted my Andre Galvao book and it indeed bares a similar mechanics to the Terere pass (look up it up as I'm having trouble finding it on youtube).

Anyhow, that is my update for now;  hopefully my health issues will be non-existent next time I update.

I'll leave you with a cool clip of Rafa Training for Abu Dhabi 2011.



Ciao!


Andre

I would have been her fool.

*I was bit late with actually publishing this - was not sure I wanted to -but the last weeks events have decided for me.  For good or bad here is my 2nd blog.

Well here I am trying this blogging thing again.  It's a bit scary to put yourself out there but in the end most of the people who read this will never know me and the people that do know me - well I've shared my blog address and feel comfortable with them knowing things about me.

Before you read this maybe click on the link below for sound track - well a Youtube link - provided by The Gaslight Anthem.  This song sums up everything I've felt about who and what I'm going to blog about:

So i met this gal named M011y a few years back and well really never thought much of it. But of course about a year ago I started to have feelings for her and well decided to give her a shot.

 A very pretty gal and really someone that for the most part was outta my league.  Well she was younger, blonde, white, and mormon.  So anyone familiar with southern Alberta would know that these particular things do make a difference and do matter - if one person is of Native descent they matter even that much more -never mind the age thing (I'm in my 30's she's in her 20's) it was definitely us being from completely different worlds that scared me and really never allowed me to take a chance on her - well at least initially -

So about a year ago (May 2008) I decided to just go for it and try and see what happens.  I guess a year and a half of admiring and longing for someone from afar and not ever really taking the chance to see what can happen and what could be possible.  Most of all maybe being tired of what I may have been losing out on.  So I started to make small steps with her.  Asking more and more what she liked to do in her off time.  Such silly questions as "do you like coffee, M011Y?" "do you like going to concerts?" "Maybe if you're around you want to stop by and say hi."  Just never really coming out and asking her if she'd like to go out but leaving little hints here and there - I guess not really "going for it" but attempting to plant the seeds of something.  What that something was - I knew what I had hoped for but was really unsure of whether it was feasible 'thing.'

I guess I just really hoped that the beautiful, blonde, blue eyed goddess would actually want to be with a guy like me.  You know dream big and hope for the unattainable to be attainable and within my grasp.

Well it never really turned out the way I would have liked-does anything?  months of being stood up, not having calls returned, mixed signals, and just plain being treated crappy by her took their toll on me.  So in December of last year (2008) I sent her one last letter just telling her how I felt and that I was going to stop talking to her.  Was it a mistake?  I don't know but I do believe it had to be done - for good or bad.  I needed to make that decision for myself and what not.  And it was the hardest thing to do.  Part of my just wanted to be happy with anything she threw my way - even if it hurt cause at least she'd be in my life.  But you know...

But I guess sometimes you just fall flat on your face and what you thought was going to be yours was really just an illusion.  And all you thought you had was really nothing at all.  

I had a bit of an emotional breakdown last week and the only thing on my mind was Molly - not sure why as it's been ages since we last spoke or had anything to do with each other.  Long story short I ended up writing her this long, rambling e-mail that really made no sense and really did not serve any purpose other than making looks like an obsessive fool.  I guess in the haze of anxiety and depression you cling to what you want the most - and well there are many things I've wanted and had throughout my life but Molly was and is what I still long for.

I guess that it is true - you do want the things that you can't have.  I guess for once I just wanted to be with someone that really made me feel good, excited, and better about myself.  I guess it was cause of how she looks - because lets be honest; girls like her are never with guys like me.

I have not heard back from her and it's been over a week - I guess part of me knows that it's dead.  Which is good in the sense that I know I need to move on.  On the other hand it's painful because you realize the only person you want to be with does not want to be with you and in all likelihood has delegated your memory to the trash bin.

So I've re-worded the Gaslight Anthem song - I guess my last bit of sadness (I Hope but really she'll always be on my mind) that I'll dedicate to Molly:

You can tell Molly if she calls; that I'm famous now for all these Rock and Roll Songs.  Even if that's a lie she should have given me a try.  I would have been her fool  and I would have sang out your name in these old University Halls; you tell that to Molly if she calls.

And you can tell Molly if she writes that I'm drunk off of all these stars and crazy Rio de Janeiro nights.  That's total deceit but she should have married me.  And tell her I spent every night dying on the floor bleeding out from all these wounds.  I would have gotten her right out of Raymond, AB.  You tell that to Molly if she writes.

But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes that'll cut you to ribbons sometimes.  And all you can do is wait by the phone and hope that she hasn't forgotten you.

You remind Molly if she asks why? That a thief stole my heart while she was deciding what she wanted.  Heard she's still living the "cool"; goes crazy over that scene I'll never understand.  But I used to wait in the coffee shop a million nights without her; praying she won't stand me up again.  And the pretty waitress served my coffee with a consolation smile.  You remind Molly if she asks why?

Tell her it's alright

It's hard to tell you this, no it's hard to tell you this.

Here's looking at you kid (molly).

So I really don't know what to think about myself, molly, and just life in general right now.  I'm in a world of hurt at the moment.  I guess all I can hope for is to feel better tomorrow and the next day and the next...

And for all that's been said - I will say that Molly I would have followed you anywhere and taken you through all of my life's journey's - through ups and downs I would have stood there by you.  Molly I would have gladly been your fool....