My Mantra for the past 10 months (copped from a Gaslight Anthem tune) has been as source of self-preservation of sorts. One may be inclined to ask, how so? The particular line is from the song “Meet Me by the River’s Edge” has struck me since the first time I’ve heard the song – to be honest all of the Gaslight Anthem catalog has had a profound effect on me but that’s another story. The ending of the song is as follows:
Sally said, Sally said
“I can’t take no more regret”
It cut us too deep into our souls
Came and climbed into our head
Sally said, Sally said
Meet me by the River’s Edge
Were going to wash these sins away
Or else we won’t come back again
Now no retreat, no regrets (3x)
Meet me by the River’s edge
Here is the Youtube clip of the song:
If you ever had the pleasure of hearing his particular song you’ll know doubt be familiar with the urgency in which the song and the line “No Retreat, No Regret” are sung. The kind of urgency and honesty that really good music has; I won’t get into the farce that the world of music has found itself in – and yet again as Hammy Hamster would say “that’s another story.”
Long story short – this particular line has become my inspiration whenever times are tough – and lately they’ve been fairly rocky. And over time it has become my theme for the year 2009. 2009 is to be my year of change and reclamation of the self I used to be. A ‘self’ that had confidence, hope, happiness, dreams, and the willingness and courage to chase those dreams. If you know me well then you’ll know what I’m planning on doing and what dream/desire I’m chasing; as a result I will not go in to details.
When you up and decide to leave everything behind and try follow a dreams and chase those rainbows – in the hopes that the pot of gold will be at the end of that rainbow – you’ll no doubt question whether or not you’re making the right decision. I question myself everyday; “is this the right path to follow?” “What am I thinking?” “What am I leaving behind?” “What, if anything, am I going to come back to?” I’ll be honest – these ‘doubting’ questions plague me on a daily basis and all I can do is hope that my choices are the correct ones. But in the end is not better to follow your heart, chase dreams, and try to find that happiness that is out there for the taking? I think that slowly but surely I’ve come to realize that it is far better to fall short while chasing your dreams then to just sit back and watch the days go by till one day you’re too old walk up a set of stairs without tiring; let alone running worlds away to find that pot of gold.
Now back the line and song – I know the pain of regret all to well. And it is true – it crawls deep into your soul and eats away at you little by little. Always nagging away at your conscience reminding you how you’re wasting the days away watching the world and your dreams pass you by. To quote main protagonist Andy in the movie (short story) “The Shawshank Redemption” “get busy living or get busy dying.”
Yes, that is really how life works – you can sit around watching the world pass you by or get up and catch that west bound train to your own personal promised land. As the punk band Rancid once sang (and titled their 1998 album) “Life Won’t Wait.”
The other day I began to have those doubts creep in to my brain. In the past I’ve usually let them bring down or bring my head back down out of the clouds. But no longer, nowadays when the ‘negative’ creeps into my head, I close my eyes, think of my dreams and repeat over and over:
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