Progress can and is a good thing - To a life well lived.

I'm finding it hard to keep up with writing the blog. I wanted to do a couple per week - at the very least. But you know stuff just does not always go as you want it. Most days Im just so tired after training all i can do is eat then try to get to bed or just lie around trying to recoup.

Well not much has been going on; well at least nothing of substantial substance. The days are spent sleeping, training, eating, training and trying to find ways to kill time in between sleeping and training.

Im not sure what's up lately but ive felt really weird - not sure if its the heat or not getting enough liquids - just kind of twitchy. hopefully things get sorted out.

i got a private lesson last a week or so back and it's really helped out with my game. I focused on some of the basics for guard passing. I've noticed a real improvement in my posture and ability to make my opponent uncomfortable and uncertain. Just to clarify I worked on my standing guard passes. I would like to do another private with the focus on standing guard passing again to just help with the kinks. I think once I've learned to do standing guard passes better I will see a rise in my submissions because my top game is pretty decent - well at least for my level. i feel that if i can get my standing guard passing and combine it with the Tozi guard passes that I can become a pretty decent and perhaps one day fearsome guard passer.

so I think that the time is right to go out and meet someone - I said that before but i was not ready. I needed to let go of some more thoughts and emotions and memories. But I do believe part of the experience down here is to meet a gal and affirm that I'm someone worth knowing and someone worth a gals time. Also, to stress to myself that they're are other people out there and that "One" heartless gal is not all there is out there...

Im going to see some fights on Sunday - One of the guys from the gym is fighting (Zoro) and we got some tickets at a reduced price. So that is my weekend plans. other than that I hope that Jason is not to hung over so that we can work on some stuff tomorrow (Saturday).

my Father is back home - he was back in the hospital last week. But from all accounts he is doing alot better now and is on the road to recovery. I cannot wait to see them (family) and see my dad again - strong and healthy.

I've been here a little over a month and I'm finally seeing improvements and progress in my jiu jitsu. As mentioned before I'm starting to hold my own with the guys around my skill and belt level. I'm really determined to get my blue belt by mid to late October and start on my long journey to Purple and even longer journey to the black belt; which will be another journey ... but I'll try not to get ahead of myself.

Well not sure what else to write about if something comes up I'll write about it.

I Found this Youtube clip of my favorite song "Here's looking at you Kid" by The Gaslight Anthem. It's a wonderful live version. Take care will the next time.



p.s. the picture is of a gal from the beach a few weeks back - and is really a statement about what is great about not just Brazil and Rio but life and forgetting the pain and moving on with life....and I do mean that nice looking blonde...ha ha!

Bats in the belfry - Literally!

Another weekend came and went. Time seems to fly down here - of course there are moments when it seems like it is standing still. This usually happens in between training sessions and weekends. It's hard to believe I'll have been here for 5 weeks this Friday. I remember when I got here and was a bit awe struck and thinking that time will never go forward and that I just wanted to go home.

Lot's of things have gone in the past week or so.

1. I attended an MMA show in a large stadium in another part of Rio on Saturday night. There were some big names like Jeff Monson, Pedro Rizzo, Ricardo Arona, Paulo Fihlo. It cost R$50,00 ($50.00 Brazlian dollars) for the tickets and another R$25,00 for the bus ride there and back. Dennis was able to arrange a bus ride for us. The bus driver arrived about 2hrs late and as a result we had to just go straight there - no time to pick up a quick supper or anything. Got there, found the entrance in, found out seats and waited for the fights to begin. Overall, they were not bad but not super great either. The bus ride home was interesting. The fights did not end till about 2am - the bus driver - we had paid for the whole night - had gotten there at about 12am. so he had a little bit of a wait. Anyhow, i think he was pissed off or something and he proceeded to take a long route home then decided to speed through this winding mountain road. Did not say bye to anyone - dropped us off at Camacha's restaurant - a 24hr bar and grill that has some cheap food and usually bad service...but i guess that's part of the charm- then sped off. Overall, a pretty good experience and only my second time out of Barra da Tijuca. The other being the time i got lost on the busses.

2. I'm finally starting to see some little improvements in my Jiu Jitsu. I say this because I am finally starting to hold my own against the blue belts in the academy and depending on who it is - I can survive some of the Purple belts. I'm not getting many subs but not getting subbed as easy as before and getting more and more dominant positions. This is really a good feeling as I was starting to get frustrated and a bit discouraged. I've been told that it usually takes about a month to catch up to the guys that are in you're belt and skill range. The skill level down here is amazing - not that there are not just as skilled guys back home - but the blue belts down here and pretty much every other belt get to roll with browns and blacks on a daily basis. So it's just a lot more skilled guys for the lower belts to learn from. I hope that I can go back home with a profound rise in skill.

3. People are coming and going here at the house. Tomorrow the 2 Irish guys(Paul and Mark) will be leaving. A new guy from Quebec Canada arrived yesterday. Jordan will be leaving in about 2 weeks. Phillip in about 2 and a half, not sure about Alpar - he stays with his girlfriend and is in and out of the house. I'm not sure if any other guys are coming in to the house in the next few weeks. Jason from Australia will be here till November. I just found out the guy from Quebec will be leaving the same day as I am. December 15. It seems so far away but the way that time flies down here. It will be here.

4. I would like to start working on coming back here next June or July. I think that spending time here is good for the soul. Depending on my Parents health I would like to stay for another 4-5 months.

5. I did my first Private lesson today with Rommel Cardozza - a black belt from the guy. We worked on my guard passing. Just some very basic stuff that I was lacking and needed(was not aware of). It was by far the hardest training session I had during my stay here. It occured at about 1pm this afternoon. We ended up in the upper part of the gym and i think all the heat was rising up there. Privates are one hour in length - and it was worth it as Rommel helped me with a lot of little details.

I was completely spent afterwards - came home, showered, walked down with the rest of the guys to grab some lunch, grabbed a coconut and had them chop off the top and I drank the milk inside as Dennis told me it's a good natural way to replenish my electrolytes - kinda like gatorade but with out all the sugar. Which is good because the gatorade down here tastes odd as heck.

I hope to do a few more privates - not as many as I had hoped and initially thought I'd be able to take but a few is better than none.

6. My money situation is still up in the air. I'm waiting on some funding sources as well as the sale of my jeep. Neither of which have come through for me as of yet. I hope that I can get this resolved soon.

7. I'm glad that we are free to roam and leave the house without much trouble. There is a certain individual that is just an annoying, complaining baby. thank god he does not stay here much.

8. I've met a couple of gals but nothing went anywhere. not sure why - just not giving out the right vibe i guess. But hey things will happen when they happen.

9. my dad got put back in the Emergency earlier this week so once again I'm having a hard time dealing with the stress and thoughts that arise from this situation. I'm praying and trying to stay focused and hope that when I return he is back to full health.

i wanted to write more but most days I'm just so tired after evening training - its shower, eat, watch a movie till i fall asleep.

just added a few pics for viewing pleasure..ha ha...

so anyhow, if you read this thanx for taking the time and all the best to you. Will try to keep up as much as possible.

A.

p.s. the reason i named this blog is because a couple of bats made their way into the arena during the fights and during some of the more boring fights - they were the biggest excitement.

If you never let me go I will never let you down.

Another week has come and gone. Time is flying here but at the same time the down time in between training sessions can seem like forever. Lately I've just been so groggy and tired that going out and taking pictures and trying to find new places in Barra da Tijuca has been out of the question.

I think that this is partially due to the fact that I cannot sleep the whole nigh through. Most nights i fall asleep about 1am local time and awake any time in between 3am and 5am - stay away for a few hours then either fall back asleep or stay awake and do the morning training session. Although I must confess that I've been going back to sleep the past week or so. I'm not sure why I'm not getting a full night's sleep. I guess there is still alot on my mind.

This past week has been a bit of a bummer in terms of training. I thought I was making progress but I'm once again finding that I'm getting my butt kicked by pretty much everyone in the gym again. Not sure if it's due to my lack of sleep and general lack of energy or just a down slide or the other guys are improving that much more and I'm stagnating at my current level. I'll try to take in stride and just hope that it's a minor downslide.

the new guys in the house are great to have around and the house seem to be alot more mellow - for the most part at least. So this is totally agreeing with me and my personality.

I was thinking about something one of my house mates said to me last week - he told me something about my jiu jitsu. I had suprised him with a move that i caught him with. He was helping me with my guard passing and then fed me an arm bar but started to roll out of the arm bar and with out thinking in immediately transitioned to the Kimura. This suprised him as he told me he had not seen anyone do this transition. He said something along that "my technique and knowledge is there but that I need to be more confident and believe in myself more." I believe this to be true. That i do lack the killer instinct and that certain "self-centered" quality that alot of jiu jitsu guys (or fighters) have. I'm working on this and it's a day to day thing. I'm pretty mellow by nature so it is a big step for me. Although I do believe quitting my job and coming here to Brazil to pursue one of my passions required alot of confidence and bravery on my part. I do believe that my confidence was shattered last year and throughout most of this year but I'm feeling it coming back - little by little.

I talked to my mom the other day and my dad is back home. He cannot do much and pretty much has to take things easy and rest. But this is a huge relief on my part. One week ago I was ready to go back home to be with my family and my dad. But he is getting better and it's only a matter of time before he's back up and going strong.

One thing i do miss is the fact that I can jump in my vehicle and just drive and go where i want to and not be limited like I am here. I think this is the most I've ever walked as an "Adult". I'm either walking or busing it around. I hope that I can afford to buy a bike so I can do some more exploring around Barra - there is still so much more to see.

I was thinking about when I will be coming home - I'll be here till December 15 and arrive back in Canada December 16 (sometime in the afternoon.) It's going to be blazing hot here in Brazil when I leave but if the past years are any indication - it will be cold and crappy back home in Canada. I'll also be having to live with my parents for awhile. I'm not sure what my plans are when I get back home. I've been thinking that substitute teaching may have to be my job for a while - to make some quick money.

There is a cute gal that sometimes shows up for Jiu Jitsu classes and I got to train with her tonight which was super cool. I also think she lives around my neighborhood. I think I will start showing more interest in her and hopefully things can blossom from there. If not - no biggie - but I would love to get to know this gal. I was too busy trying to focus on the moves that we were shown I did not think to ask her name like I usually do for new training partners. Next time - I will go up and say hi and talk to her. I don't foresee her changing my life but it would be nice to finally move on and take that plunge. You never know till you take that leap!

my sisters where to have come down during the long weekend in October for a quick trip. But with my dad's current health concerns and my mother's health concerns they decided it would be best to stay close to home - just in case. I'm fine with that - Ill survive. It will be comforting to know that they are there for my parents.

I'm going to a big MMA fight card this weekend. so that will be fun and an great experience. I'll definitely post pictures and give a re-cap of the fight night!

I miss going to starbucks and having my usual medium coffee and watching all the pretty girls. then again - Rio is filled to the brim with pretty girls.

I still find myself thinking about things that could have been and what "we" missed out on. But everyday is another day of moving on and healing the wounds that seemed to never heal. One day, One day I'll be something and someone that she will regret letting slip through her hands.

well that's it for now - try to write more - will definitely put up some pics from the fights this weekend.

Peace, love and thong bikinis ;)

just a quick update.

Lot's to talk about but I will keep this one fairly short - take more time to write about everything at a later date. I meant to keep up with the blog alot more but it's been hard to get the energy to write after a long day. But I will do my best.

1. I just found out my dad had a heart attack on monday - so right now Im not sure if I even want to be here anymore. Everyone said it was mild and that I dont have to worry but I am worried and my parents are the only reason I'm still alive and doing fairly well. So I'm conflicted - Im here living out my dream but my mind and heart are now elsewhere. The angel picture above is for my dad - I hope that the angels are looking out for him.

2. There is a weird story from my night out - something to do with shape shifting or people not sure how i managed to do something (will write a longer story about it.)

3. Training is going good. going at least once a day - trying to get the energy to go twice but thus far it's escaping me. But im not stressing because im training more than I was at home anyhow.

4. I think the time is right to try and go out and meet someone here. I know that Im here for Jiu Jitsu but in order to move on I think that you have to start meeting new people. So I hope that I have it in me to move on.

5. It's been really hot here lately - yesterday was 35 C. so hot and today is seeming like it's going to be hotter - 10 am and it's already unbareable here..ha ha - I guess another day of beach and girl watching.

6. Im worried about my money situation - i hope everything comes through for me.

7. Bas left on Sunday - back to Englad. Fernando left yesterday - back to California. Jeremy's mom arrived last Thursday (i think that was the day) and the two Irish guys (names escape me) arrived Sunday. Phillip from Germany arrived Sunday night. so the house is filling up again but everyone seems less about partying so it's all good. Lewis will be leaving next week. People come and they go - I hope i keep in contact with everyone that I've met cause they are all great.

8. my sister Jill's birthday was September 2 - so here's a birthday wish for her.

9. finally transferred my music to the newer i-pod so i can listento music when im wandering about taking pictures which is a great comfort (Gaslight anthem all the way!)

10. my portuegese is not coming along very well - i thought by now id have more of a grasp but nothing seems to be sticking. I hope that it comes along soon.

well i have alot on my mind - i hope that things work for the best and that my dad gets better so that my mind can be put at ease. a better blog will be coming soon.

"I wait for you as the cold rain falls away - but my heart is true"

peace and love!