Okay this is not about that pale gal who plays drums with that even paler guy who plays guitar – you know the rock and roll band The White Stripes. This about a different type of white stripes; the white stripes that you find on the belts that are used to denote a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu players level of competence.
The belts in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ being grappling in a Gi) are as follows:
White – Blue – Purple – Brown –Black.
The white belt being the starting point with the eventual goal of the coveted black belt being the ultimate goal of a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu practitioner. Hence, I would start out as a white belt and at some point get promoted to Blue, then Purple, Brown and finally a Black Belt – in my limited knowledge (laziness) it would appear that most martial arts hold the black belt as the highest level (from there you get degrees – 6th degree black belt, etc…) Within in BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) each belt is also denoted by white stripes – little stripes of white tape – on the end of the of a BJJ practitioner’s belt. Each belt can accumulate up to 4 stripes before the practitioner will be ready to move on to the next colour belt. For example a person may be a 4 stripe Blue belt; now once his or her instructor feels they are ready to move up (gained a certain level of competence) they will not receive a fifth stripe on their blue belt they will in fact be awarded their 0 stripe Purple then begin the task of working their way up; 1 stripe purple, 2 stripe purple, etc. Does this make sense? I hope so. If not then maybe do some further research as I’m just not here to do that nor do I feel like doing that for anyone. Capiche?
Now let me digress a bit.
I formally started off doing a form of BJJ that some call No-Gi Grappling or Submission Grappling in 2004. I had been a fan of the UFC, Pride, MMA (mixed martial arts) since I first had the opportunity to view it in 1995. But at that time there really few options for a budding grappler – outside of judo or high school wrestling – in Southern Alberta; hence not really having many options to pursue this particular interest. One afternoon in May of 2004 I happened to come across a variety show on one of the local stations. On this particular day they just so happened to have Lee Mein and one of his local fighters who were training for a fight and doing a little demo for the TV program. Lee and his student were showing off various moves from BJJ. Now being a relative newbie to the whole grappling – outside of enjoying the ground game (as it’s called) on MMA pay-per-views programs. I took it for what it was worth and ended up going to Lee’s club and joining up a few weeks later. Thus I became a BJJ practitioner (some may argue this point – the whole No-Gi vs Gi debate that causes much anger and discontent amongst practitioners). I refuse to get into that debate as it tends to anger people and at times cause fallout. So for my sake and ego I became a BJJ practitioner in late May/early June of 2004 (the exact date escapes me at this time.)
I could really go on and on about my time at Lee’s gym – and at some point there will be other stories – but for the time being I’m going to get to the point of this little digression. In April of 2007 I earned my blue belt in BJJ Mr. Roy Harris. To me it had been 3 yrs of on and off hard work. I say on and off because I had decided to go back to school and get my Education Degree during the spring of 2004 and formally joined the Faculty of Education at the University of Lethbridge in September of 2004. In between school and work it was hard to totally dedicate my time to my new pursuit – but I did what I could. Some believe that belts and such are of no importance within grappling world; to this I say hogwash. In my opinion a true BJJ practitioner will hold the belts with the utmost respect and pride; it signifies a level not only competence but also a certain level of knowledge. In addition, it also signifies a level of dedication and commitment on the practitioner’s part. Feel free to disagree with me; in the end it’s just my opinion and yours.
Now Lee’s gym is purely focused on the No-gi Grappling and how it transfers better to mixed martial arts. Which was fine with me; as I do believe that you do good with what you have and make the most of what you have to work with. However with the popularity of the MMA there was a significant influx of what I like to call the “douche-bag” factor at my local gym (dojo –but really saying dojo makes me feel like the karate kid) which really took away some of the camaraderie, friendship, openness that the gym had when I first joined it. Now you were having to deal with Bench Monkeys who knew no concept of what it means to roll, go lightly, have fun; in addition the respect that I feel BJJ instills in a practitioner. Now the gym was overrun with muscle bound goons who were out to be the ‘Next’ Ultimate Fighter. Which really made for some nerve wracking No-Gi Sessions as well as a longing for the old days when the gym was not so popular and you actually had that sense of family. Don’t get me wrong, there are and still are some really great guys that train at the gym – I call the OF’s (Original Fighters) the core group of fighters at this gym who were doing this whole MMA thing long before it became the new extreme sport.
As luck would have it a new light came shining through in the form of Gracie Barra Black Belt Josh Russell. An acquaintance of my from the CMAC (Canadian Martial Arts Centre – Lee’s gym) had informed me that he had taken some private lessons with Josh and the he had learned quite a lot during these sessions. My curiosity had been spurned and contacted Josh. This was during the summer of 2007; well one thing led to another and I never really made the true effort to get a private lesson with Josh.
The Fall of 2007 was what I call the season of my mothers rebirth. Now without going into to many details. My mother had been sick for a few years prior to the fall of 2007 – during which time doctors had been unable to correctly diagnose her ailment. After a close call in May of 2007 the physicians finally got it right and realized that she had liver disease and would require a new liver; in the meantime she would have to endure frequent visits to the hospitals to get a procedure known as ‘banding.’ Well long story short during the month of October 2007 my mother got the call that a liver had been found – blessing answered. Joy all round, my fears somewhat alleviated. The time was right to stop worrying about my mother’s health as she was going to be better and start caring about my life again. I say this without any hint malice – as I would gladly give my life for my mother or any other member of my family. It’s just that I was ready to start doing the things I loved doing again as I had put everything on hold during this time. Jiu Jitsu being one of the things I ceased to do. Now my mothers trials and the story of that are for another time and perhaps may just be left alone. If I do write about them then you’ll know the full story if not; well you know enough.
So with my newfound willingness and wanting to get back to my life; I made contact with Josh during December of that year. I ended up booking some time for a private lesson on a Saturday afternoon in December. As I don’t have my notes on had – at this time I cannot accurately remember what Josh helped me with that day. What I do know was that I learned more in that one hours session than I had in the previous year. It is an amazing thing to have a high level black belt give you pointers and weed out small things you need to do and should be doing for any number of techniques. I enjoyed it so much that I booked another private training session for a few weeks later. I continued to take a private lesson here and there with Josh well into 2008.
So in April of 2008 I decided that I would join Gracie Barra Calgary as I realized that I really wanted to learn true Brazilian Jiu Jitsu – meaning Jiu Jitsu with a Gi on. From about May to early September of 2008 I was making trips up to Calgary to train at Gracie Barra – a 2 ½ hour drive (one way). I must say it was tiring but well worth the skills I was learning and atmosphere I found myself in. Unfortunately, a major ankle injury, a skin infection on my leg, as well as a few other mishaps all conspired to blow the wind out of my sails and I stopped going to train. Essentially I ended up wasting a few months of dues stuck in a major depressive episode in which all I could really do was get up in the morning and drag myself to work. It took all my energy just to do that and make it through the day. Jiu Jitsu was always on my mind; among other things. I keep saying that “today’ would be the day I would make it back up and train do what I love doing. I said this everyday during the fall or 2008. But I never did make it up back up to train at Gracie Barra after early September 2008. I just did not have the mental strength to get over my troubles and get that ‘willingness’ and ‘desire’ to forcefully get myself out of the dark days I found myself in.
Even more digression!
Sometimes I wonder if I’m truly messed up in the head or just in love with being sad; or perhaps a combination of both. I really don’t know; most days I just accept the fact that I do have some emotional and mental issues that are just there. I would really not want anyone to have to go through the kind of mental states that I find myself in at times. Does this make me any less of a person? I would hope not – I feel that I do the best I can and for my part I do believe that 95% of the time I’m a good person who is caring, loving and giving. I give everything to the ones and things in my life that I love. It’s just that other 5% of the time that seems to creep in and make me feel bad for my lack of sociability and/or approachability. All I can do is just try to keep my head above the crap that I deal with from time to time and hope that while in the dark days that I don’t burn any bridges or hurt anyone deeply. For the most part I feel that I’m successful and the people that do know me know that I just need to be given time and left to my own – that the “Real Andre” will come back and the “closed in” creep is only temporary.
Back on topic - sorta!
I believe that one must be good to themselves and be able to look themselves in the mirror and be happy with what they see staring back at them. This involves forging and strengthening the relationships in your life. Relationships being with people and with the activities that you love doing; hence, in January of 2009 I came back to a love of mine. I started training back at Gracie Barra Calgary and reacquainted myself with BJJ. Starting to train again I believe is and was ‘me’ being good to myself. I must be honest and say that I have only been going off and on – as the weather, work, and life in general just work together (or so it seems) to not allow me to get up to train as much as I would like to. Take today (June 03, 2009) for instance; I had been in a meeting for most of the day, got out of it, then had a pile of work to do. By the end of the day I just did not have it in me to rush home, pack up, then make the 2 1/2hr drive up to Calgary – then drive back, arrive home about 12:00am, shower, try to unwind and hope that I can fall asleep by about 1am if I’m lucky (most nights I’m up a lot later than 1am.) Then get up at 7am to do it all over again. A year ago I was mentally stronger, without as much emotional baggage that is still lingering around me. I’m working on getting to a point where I’m strong enough to get up there a few times a week. There is also the issue of gas prices, money; as I am trying to save money for my large adventure.
Now in my time training at Gracie Barra I’ve come to realize that my BJJ as not where I felt it should be – especially in terms of wearing a gi. So once I joined Gracie Barra Calgary I willfully accepted going back to white belt – no disrespect to my former trainers and Mr. Harris. But I was just not up to par with the guys in the gym. I feel that I had been able to keep up my training that I would have no doubt been promoted to Blue Belt by now under Gracie Barra and confirmed and strengthened my original awarding of blue belt. Long story short – I’ve been stuck at the white belt stage for over a year now (roughly the time I’ve spent training at Gracie Barra Calgary) without any stripes. Which has been a source of disappointment for me – as I know that the knowledge is there it’s just a matter of putting the mat time in and refining and applying my technique. I’ve come to accept that at this time it’s monumental for me to even get up there once a week – which is about what I’ve been stuck at. But it still eats away at you as you see others who’ve trained for less time rise in the ranks; both in the color of their belt and or stripes, as well as their overall application and mastery of their techniques.
So there I was up in Calgary last week – I had actually made it up to train. Holding my own, at times, but mostly getting dominated left and right – which is humbling but also a learning lesson. Class was over and I was eager to hit the road, go over what we had drilled that night, listen to music and get home a bit earlier than I usually do – as it was a Tuesday and I managed to get to the Gi class but was not going to stay for the No-Gi class afterwards. So part of the tradition is to line up at the end of class and bow out (paying respect to the pioneers as well as Professor Russell). Now on occasion new belt promotions as well as stripes for each belt will be awarded at this time – I’ve seen it and I’m sure that had I been able to keep up my training that I would have been part of the receiving. This night Josh began to award some stripes – I stood there somewhat jealous as the first student went up and received his second stripe on his white belt.
Now let me explain this process; what happens is the student is called up Josh then proceeds to either add stripes to an existing belt or even award a new belt color – I’ve only witnessed this once – last Tuesday to be exact. So the first student went up then went down the line and was congratulated by all of the students in attendance. After he had gone through Josh was ready to call the next student up. Low and behold Josh called out my name:
Andre! Josh said something along the lines of “long over due.” I ended up getting two stripes on my belt. So going from zero to two was a huge surprise.
So I realize that in the grand scheme of things that this is insignificant – both in terms of the world as a whole and the jiu jitsu world itself. But to someone who’s been in a personal hell that just does seem to be going away. It means everything. It’s an acknowledgement that I’m not wasting my time. That I’m doing something that someone recognizes. More than anything it’s made me realize that I’m really someone worth being treated with respect and that I don’t have to settle for however someone decides they’re going to treat me. That I’m someone worth knowing and that I’m on the right path and that I’ve found something (outside of family and a few close friends) that is worth loving.
So here’s to long day’s at work, rushing up to Calgary to try and refine my skills in the world of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, being alone and listening to my favorite songs during the drives to and fro, trainings sessions that are both exhilarating and exhausting, friendships forged and strengthened, a sense of self worth and self acceptance.
And finally,
Here’s to 2 white stripes that have renewed my soul, allowed me to see the light again and lit the jiu jitsu fire inside me that had been almost put out forever.
