Did you hear your favourite song one last time? - One for Adam.

This photo was taken April 07, 2009 at the Warehouse Club in Calgary Alberta after The Gaslight Anthem concert from left to right: Andre (me, Pat, Adam). One of the best nights o fmy life with two of my best friends - one of whom is no longer with us. RIP Adam Park.

Where do I start? At this moment I’m in a state of shock - I’m not sure if that’s the best way to describe how I’m feeling at this moment. It does not seem real; you being gone from this world. I just saw you a few weeks ago at Pat’s house and you looked so happy and ready to take life on and now you’re gone.

I’m trying not to be sad but in all honesty I’m numb. I think of all the good times we shared and the friendship you gave me - you without a doubt one of the kindest and one of the few that felt comfortable around.

Can you believe that I found out via Facebook? I guess that is fitting since the last few months I was only able to keep in touch via the internet while I was off trying to chase my dreams and follow my heart. Besides my family the only people I talked to were you and Pat those few times that I caught you on skype. I still laugh when I think about you telling me about the accident you had and the look you had on the webcam. Brings a smile to my face - I’m sure that I’m not the only one who smiles when they think of Adam stories. There were so many more stories that needed you in them - now we’ve lost a major character in all our lives stories.

I still remember that time you talked to me after my world had come apart and I was completely lost all those years ago. I still think of that time and how you showed compassion to someone you hardly knew. This is something that even people I think are true friends cannot even be bothered to do.

It’s not like we were best friends since childhood; in all honesty we only really connected in the past 5-6 years and even then it was an off and on friendship - as we travelled in different circles most of the time. But whenever we got to hang out I felt the kinship and a connection that I did not feel with people that I’d see more often than you.

I think my two favourite memories of you are when I introduced you and Pat to the Gaslight Anthem that one night. I had gone out drinking and ended up at my apartment way too early and decided to call Pat up and he in turn invited me over. It took me forever to find get some air in my tires (on my bmx bike) when I finally got to Pat’s house it was like 3am. We stayed up pretty late drinking beer and at some point during the night I put found some Gaslight on Youtube and played it for you and Pat. At first you did not really get into it. But after a few plays you and Pat agreed that they were a rocking band. A few weeks later I would go see them play in Vancouver - a last minute decision. The next time I talked to Pat he was a full on fanatic and informed me that you had been bitten by the Gaslight bug as well. I’m very glad that we all found a common love for a band that changed my life.

My second favourite memory of you also involved the Gaslight Anthem. And it was the time Pat, you and I went up to see them. April 07, 2009 to be exact I remember I was supposed to have that day off and then had to work out of town. After my day was over I rushed back in to Lethbridge to change and get ready for the rocking night that awaited us. I got home and ran up to my apartment and showered and changed outta my work clothes (aka my monkey suit.) I had left my phone in my vehicle and when I finally got on the road over to Pat’s house you had both left me messages - I had told Pat that I would be there by 4pm and it was almost 5pm. So I rushed over to pick the both of you up and off we went.

I do believe that was one of the fastest times to Calgary. I was worried we would miss out on the concert. We made it, found a hotel near downtown, caught a cab and off we were to the Warehouse club. In fact we were a bit early - and of course we headed down for some drinks. Finally, the show started with the opening band; who were pretty forgettable. So we headed back down for a few more drinks and by this time we were all feeling pretty buzzed. Gaslight started and you agreed to be the video, photo guy - which both Pat and I agreed upon. I still remember you having to deal with that drunk gal and her boyfriend leaning up on you - that was funny.

I also remember you saying that you were just going to run to the washroom and that you’d be back to take more pictures and video. But we never did see you till the end of the concert and by that time you had gone back downstairs to get some more drinks and had made some new friends. We also found out that you had abandoned your duties as camera guy. I also remember you wanting to go out and party in Morley and that Pat and I knew wanted a pair of fingerless gloves (inside joke).

Anyhow, after buying some merchandise and getting more drinks we made our way over to the ship and anchor pub. Had more drinks, ate some food and tried to keep you from going to Morley - ha ha! Anyhow, after the pub we caught a cab back to the hotel. I really don’t remember the ride back or going back up to the room. I remember at some point we decided to head back out to my car and get the extra case of beer I had bought before we left Lethbridge. I guess we both decided that it would be a good idea to sit in my car, drink beer and listen to tunes on the I-pod transmitter. I remember you throwing our empties into the box of the trunk parked beside us. I don’t really remember going back up to the room but by that time Pat had been passed out for awhile and you were not far behind. I tried to get you to say up and watch a movie with me - but you passed out and I was not far behind.

Woke up the next day - drove the long hangover drive home. Dropped Pat off, drove you home and headed back to my apartment. That was really one of my best memories of any concert I’ve attended. I’m glad that you were part of it.

I saw you a few weeks ago and we talked but it was brief, there was a lot of talking going on at Pat’s house that night. I wanted to see you again this weekend and I thought I would see you again at Pat’s house because we always watched fights at Pat’s. But when I came into town on Friday night I heard the news via the internet. I still cannot come to grips with the fact that you’re not around anymore. Of course I’m sad that you’re gone and that you never called anyone. Wherever you are I hope that you’re happy and that you’re thinking of us all - we are all saddened by your passing. I know that my world is missing a big part of it. I’ve heard different stories about how you died and I will not get into them here. I just wish you stayed around longer I would have loved to have talked with you about my adventure to Brazil. You were always a compassionate persona and I always felt comfortable telling you what bothered me. It’s too bad we never to hang out more. I guess you had to leave and go on your own adventure - the only problems is that you’ll never be coming back to share it with us. I guess I’ll have to wait till my time is up to see you again; till then I’ll miss you my friend.

I’m honoured to have called you my friend - you were one of the best Adam.

Here's your song adam:

2nd last day in Brazil.

By now anyone who reads this will know that I came back to Canada early because of a family emergency that needed to be tended to.

Well those last few days were pretty sad for me. I was just starting to find my place in Brazil and my Jiu Jitsu finally felt like it was reaching it's potential. After years of only being able to train off and on - and some times off for extended periods of time. And all that built up knowledge felt like it was starting to come out on the mats - little by little. Coupled with the knowledge and experience I was picking up down in Rio it felt like the potential was there to take it to new heights. Then of course the craziness started and well it got cut short.

All was not lost as on my second last day in Rio I had gone out to take some pictures and decided to drop by the academy to get some photos from the evening training session that night (Tuesday October 20th) it was a sad time for me as I did not really want to leave; especially under the circumstances that I was leaving under. Emotionally I was a mess those last few days in Rio - and of course it's extended on to my time here in Canada - but I was constantly breaking down: sad because I was leaving, sad because I feared the worst for my father and family, sad because I was not finished what I had started, sad because I was coming home to nothing. I'm not ashamed to say that some tears were shed explaining to Rommel what was going on and why I was not staying as long as I had planned.

I took some pictures of the guys training and after class Gordo and Rommel suggested that I and the guys who were training that night take a group photo. So we all got together for the photo by the training cage with the Gordo logo. Just as we had lined up Gordo pulled out some belts and called me up and awarded me my Blue Belt for winning my category at the Copa Cyclone Jiu Jitsu Tournament 2009. It was very unexpected and a great going away gift - an early present so to speak. It made my leaving a lot more easy because I had achieved one of my Goals for my Rio training trip.

I was able to hold back my emotions and receive my blue belt with a smile on my face. It took a bit longer than i thought it would - i was gunning to receive my blue belt within a month but actually training was a reality check. But I managed to get it done about a month or so later than I had hoped to; but it got done.

There was one more crazy story that occurred on my last day in Brazil but I will save that for my next blog. In the mean time the photos are from my second last day (last evening) in Rio at Gordo's gym.


*That's Gordo in the white Gi giving me my Blue belt and Rommel in the Black Gi after the Group picture.

First Week in Canda - Home and a request!

Well i've been home for about a week now. Things have not really settled in. I'm still trying to grasp the fact that things did not work out for me and that I had to come home early.

It's snowed two times since I've been here - once last saturday morning and again this past Tuesday. It's an adjustment but one thing that I do not miss is the humidity of Brazil. I think that was probably the hardest part of living down there. It just keep me awake most nights feeling like I was soaked in sweat - not to mention my bed as well.

I decided to go out on a few day bender last week. This was not a good decision but my decision solely. It may have been a fucked up decision but it was mine. I've been reluctant to go out and socialize with people and try to make contact with anyone. I do believe that I've started to fall into a depression. It's been hard to just get out of bed most days - being hunger over notwithstanding - and try to make the most of the situation.

My dad is doing a lot better and was discharged from the hospital on Tuesday evening. He is back home and is looking not bad. He is unable to do much though - he is under orders to take it easy as possible which in turn means that he is not to do anything remotely strenuous. I am glad to see him and see him doing well. But it is scary to see both my parents in poor health. But on the plus side my mother seems to be doing very well and getting stronger everyday.

The current plan is ...well I'm not sure. I was hoping to be back training in Calgary and try to keep up the gains I've made training at Gordo's in Rio. But my money is very tight and I can barely afford to put gas in my vehicle let alone drive that far to train. $40.00 for gas, plus the $25.00 drop in fee to train and probably a snake - means i cannot afford to go up there right now.

I know that the easy solution is to say well look for work - which I've finally started to do. But i've also been asked by my mother if I could stay home with my dad during the days so that he can have someone there to keep an eye on him - in case he has another incident like the last time.

I'm pretty much starting from scratch right now - no money, no job, no place to stay (call my own), no love, no training. It would not have felt so bad if I had been able to stay in Brazil as long as I would have like it because at least I will have known I accomplished what I set out to do.

I take solace in the fact that at least I got to compete in a jiu jitsu tournament down in Brazil and I even Won! I also take into account that I got my blue belt from Gordo the night before I left. I also made some good friends that I hope to see again.

I feel that getting to train everyday was a great blessing but it feels like i just only started to scratch the surface of what I could have accomplished down there. The night that I won that tournament I felt on top of the world for the first time in years - I mean that I felt like I was, in the words for Leonardo Decaprio, "I'm the King of the World!" But in less than a day it was taken from me and I was snapped down to my reality - well the reality of Southern Alberta and my non-existent life here. I mean i love family and friends and a few other things here - but in Rio I felt alive and hopeful about everything. Here in Southern Alberta I just feel hopeless and alone.

I just find it hard to comprehend how one family, mine, can go through so much hardship and disappointment over and over. I wonder about why I finally found my way and my happiness and it was taken from me through no fault of my own. It just seems like "fate" "life" "god" or "whatever" decided you have one moment on top then back down you go.

I hope that things take a turn for me - for the better that is.

oh, if you decide to leave a comment - can you please leave a name as I've enabled comments to allow random people to comment without having to make a blogger account. This way it just makes it easier to thank anyone or contact someone if they leave a message. Also, if you would like to contact me directly go to my profile and click on the contact under my picture and send me a message - it will go directly to my e-mail address. also if you click on the little white box above comments you can read what you wrote or left....but again please leave your name so i can thank you and at least know who is thinking of me...


well that's it for now - I will try to keep up the writing as much as possible and try to work towards finding my way again.

till next time.

A.
p.s the photos are of last saturday - yes it is snowing for anyone from back in Brazil who reads this.

Copa Cyclone Jiu Jitsu Champion 2009 - and bad/sad news

well I've got some good news and some bad news.

-well the Copa Cyclone Jiu Jitsu Tournament was this past weekend and I ended up winning my division - first place in the Masters (30yrs old plus) 82kg. it was a great experience overall and something I would love to do again.

i spent most of last week training with Dennis in the afternoon and doing drilling with Thomas from the house. Which paid off a lot as I felt really comfortable at the Tournament. I ended up getting a medal and will get a teeshirt from the event.

this is a good pay off and confirmation that what im doing here and taking this chance was worth it.

-I ended up going out with Thomas to Oswaldo's bar Saturday night with Thomas - we stayed there till about 4am - I actually lost track of time. Well, i ended up staying up most of the night and just letting loose for one night. it was a blow off of stream. As much as i did not want to drink alcohol down here I had fun hanging out and just letting my mind rest for one night.

-i ended up getting an e-mail from my sister sunday morning telling me that she has some bad news about my father. apparently, on Saturday he and my mother were in lethbridge shopping and were on their way out of the shopping centre and just about to load up the groceries when my mother noticed my dad was not responding when she called out his name. she went around the vehicle to find my dad lying on the ground not breathing.

this was another heart attack - caused by irregular heart beats or so ive been told. he was rushed to the hospital in bad condition.

long story short - Im coming home early. I will be leaving Rio on Wednesday at 10pm Rio time and arrive in Calgary at 12:30pm thursday afternoon.

-im not sure how to feel right now - I felt so good and on top of the world Saturday night and it all went down the drain in less than a day. Don't get me wrong i want to be with my family and would not be able to live with myself if the worst were to happen and I was still here in Rio.

But it feels like my dream and time to shine has been taken from me and cut short. Im sure there is no divine intervention but i just wonder why things could not go smoothly for me. for the first time in my life i was doing what i wanted and having things go my way. i really thought that id get my blue belt before i left and the win at the Copa Cyclone would help me on my way to that goal.

feel a bit cheated because there was so much more to accomplish - my jiu jitsu started to feel like it was getting so much better and i was finally getting it right. There was so much more to accomplish, so many more people to meet, so many more days at the beach, so many more things to see, so many more...and now it's gone.

im not sure what im going back to - outside of my family and the support. But i have no job, no prospects, and no money. i really wanted this to work out and it's gone now. im not sure if the blog will keep going. right now im not feeling so great.

take care..

Andre

Oddities, rumours, and ramdon 'goings on"

Another week or so has come and gone since my last blog update. I'm trying to keep up but you know how it is - just no energy to do so but I hope to change this.

- Well it's been about 2 months since I've come to Rio - I had touched on this in my last post and I must say that it has flown by. I've met alot of new friends and accquintances here. I know some will remain just people that I met and probably end up fading to memory - which sucks but that's how it is sometimes- and others I'm sure that I'll end up keeping in touch with and possibly running in to again.

- The house is fairly full but relatively calm - we have Sam, Gerrad, Thomas, Tom, Jason, Jeremy and myself living in the house. Overall the house is much calmer than when I first arrived which suits me fine. Jeremy will be leaving in about a week and half - not sure who will be in to take his place. hopefully, it will be someone who is calm and not on the partying side.

- speaking of parties. I went out for a late supper on Sunday (to Camacha's restaurant and bar). I had ordered a chicken sandwich with some fries. I also had a coke - I've started drinking coke again whether or not this is good is another story. Anyhow, while I was waiting for my food to come along one of the black belts from Gordo's gym (he's a fisherman) walked by me and shook my hand and said his hellos. A few minutes later he came back with a guy I had seen on the beach before helping with the kite surfing who spoke some English. They asked me what I was up to and I told them that I was having supper they invited me to the other side of the restaurant/bar. They asked me if I'd like some beer - I said no but that I would hang out for awhile. We talked and they told me that I should hang out with them (there ended up being three of them - blackbelt, long hair, and kite surf owner.) They wanted me to go to some places here in Rio - of course I was alone so i was apprehensive about this.

I got my food and ended up sitting down with one of the other house mates who was at the bar as well. I ate and decided to buy the guys some beer. So i ordered a beer (they are in large bottles here) and took it over to the guys and even shared a glass with them. Anyhow, at some point I had drank 4 glasses of beer and was starting to fee buzzed out by this time. I knew from my last experience of drinking that I was playing with fire. By this time the bar was packed with people who were waiting to get into the Samba club that is located above the bar. This meant that there were females all over the place - very tempting. They also tried to teach me a song that is sung here something along the lines of "I'm single and in Rio de Janerio" which I assume is some sort of single guy mating call. I took a deep breath and told the guys that I would have to take a rain check as I needed to get up early to train - which was a partial lie as monday was a holiday here in Brazil and the gym was closed but were were going to train - just not till later in the day. Anyhow, that was my experience of a wild sunday night.

- About a month back I was at the gym training in the afternoon with Dennis and most of the house here at the Connection Rio HQ. Anyhow, there was a young guy there doing some filming for a school project - something to do with "why people come to Rio and Train Jiu Jitsu." Anyhow here is the clip with some of the guys in the house- you even get to see me once or twice..ha ha!

-Jason, Thomas and I decided that we were going to go to Restaurante Fronteira on Friday - the all you can eat pizza place. Anyhow it had been raining quite heavy for about 3 days and finally let up a little that evening. So we decided to go out and catch a cab and meet Greg at the restaurant. We walked down to the grocery store so I could use the bank machine as I had no cash on me. So we did that and decided to try the cab stand right in front of the grocery store. so we asked the lady if we could get a cab to the restaurant. Anyhow after a long wait we said to hell with it and decided to walk to the other cab stand about a block away. We got there and waited for a cab to arrive. Long story short, we waited about 20 mins and decided to just walk to the restaurant as the rain seemed to have let up. We began walking to the restaurant and about 5 minutes into the walk we should have crossed the street just before bridge like we normally do but for whatever reason we did not and just keep walking. Well along came a city bus just as we were walking near a large puddle on the road. It was perfect timing on the bus' and our part as we ended up getting splashed with a large amount of water. All three of us were soaked on our left sides.

this prompted us to quickly cross the road and continue on the restaurant. Just as we crossed the bridge and started to walk to the overpass it started to down pour. We tried to hail some cabs but with out luck. In the end we tried to wait out the rain - and it ended up letting up enough so that we could walk quickly to the restaurant. we spent about 2hrs in the restaurant trying to dry up. Needless to say we cabbed it back home.

- well I finally ended up talking to that cute gal from the Bakery - it was by accident. I went out on saturday to buy a new towel and decided to drop by the bakery for a coffee. Anyhow, she was working and what not. being the bashful, none Portuguese speaking fool I am. I just stood there drinking my coffee and trying to not be so creepy. Ha ha! I usually walk around with my ear phones in and this time was no different. Anyhow, at one point I noticed some of the girls talking and pointing to to me - so I took my earphones off. They said something to me - but not speaking the language I could not understand what was being said. In my extremely broken Portuguese I was able to convey to the gals that I could not speak much Portuguese and that I was from Canada. I tried to show them (speak) some of the words that I knew which elicited laughter from them - including the cute, short gal. Anyhow, she asked me something but again I could not understand. But I got a smile from her and that's a start I guess. Next mission is to ask her for her name and number - oh and work on my Portuguese.

-we decided to have a BBQ last night (Monday) and all went well except for the fact that we could not get the fire started. Jeremy, ended up going down to the market and getting some lighter fluid for the Charcoal. Anyhow, the guys were in the BBQ area trying to start it - I was in doors chopping up some green peppers. At one point all I heard was lots of screaming and then laughter - as well as an accompanying fire ball. What had happened is that Greg (another Aussie who stays in an apartment a good distance away but trains at Gordo's) had decided to get right in the BBQ stove with his lighter, after the coals had been saturated with lighter fluid. He light the lighter and well the ensuing fire ball burnt some of the hair in front as well as lightly burning some of his lip and nose. It could have been alot worse but it was not and produced one of the more comical episodes here in Rio. I also heard that after the initial fireball that Greg ran to the pool and dipped his face in. This was too funny and again one of those things, like the bus splashing us, that only happens in movies or to other people.

-Well only a few more days till the cyclone tournament - it should be an interesting experience. I don't know what to expect but I'll try to have fun and just give it my best. The next blog will be about the tournament and any thing that goes on in between then.

take care and all the best to anyone who reads this.

Andre
p.s. sorry for the misleading title but you know..ha ha!

Happiness is a gesture or gift you never expected...

Well another week has come and gone - the time just flies here. I cannot believe I've been here in Brazil for 2 months (a couple days short). I can remember getting on that plane in Calgary thinking that I'd made the biggest mistake of my life-quit my job, moving to a foreign country not knowing the language, moving to pursue my passion that had taken a backseat to other priorities in life. I must be honest I was scared and cried on the plane ride to Houston. The ride from Houston to Rio was crowed and cramped and the whole time I was just wanting to be home. Getting to the Airport in Rio and not being able to find Carlos (the cab driver sent by Dennis) and almost getting accosted by another taxi driver that would not leave me alone. The drive here and realizing the enormity of not only the city but what I had just done.

Here I was a nobody from Southern Alberta in Rio chasing my dream. Not only that but being of Native descent most people dont expect much other than to become an alcoholic living off of the system. And here I was proving them wrong - a two time University Graduate who moved to Rio to try and turn his part time passion into something beyond just a part time passion.

Those first few days were lonely as hell and it's had it's up's and downs since then. But I guess when you give it all up and go off to chase that rainbow in the hopes that someday you reach the end and find that pot of gold it will not be easy and there will be lean, scary, times. But I've made it this far and I've proven to myself that I can do what I want - I just need to go out and get it. The trick is to stay strong and not get discouraged when you run into road blocks.

NO RETREAT, NO REGRETS!


That said, I must say that I will be happy to be home - probably my parents for awhile - and just knowing that my parents are there and I can see them again. Just my family and friends in General.

On the Rio Front:

1. I got really sick last Friday night - food poisoning. Needless to say it was a really rough night and Saturday was no better. yuck!

2. We went to see one of the black belts from the Academy fight on Sunday. I'm happy to say that Zorro won his fight. It was a back and forth war with a guy from Brazilian Top Team. In the end Zorro won via tko from strikes on the ground. But in all honesty it was more due to the other guy being more exhausted than Zorro. Great fight either way.

3. Same night - I lost my favorite sweater (hoodie) - that being my Gaslight Anthem hoodie. So somewhere out there somebody has a piece of me with them and also a great sweater. I hope they rock it with as much pride as I did. Although it would be much better if I were to somehow get it back....wishful thinking.

4. Well the house is almost full again. Jordan left last Sunday, Steve moved out and is staying with Pablo (another guy who trains at Gordo's), Alpar left awhile back to live with his girlfriend, and phillip left back to Germany today. In there place we have a young fellow from the UK named Thomas and another guy from the USA (his name escapes me at the moment.) so in total we have Jeremy, Jason, Sam, Thomas, USA guy, and myself for a total of 6 people in the house at the moment. Most nights now are pretty quiet - which is fine by me.

5. Anyone who stayed in the house for the month of October got a brand new Gi from Connection Rio (Dennis) and Pride fight wear. It was absolutely unexpected but totally appreciated - I would have never expected to get something like this. New Gi's run at least $150.00 back home. Being on a very strict budget meant that I could not afford a new one while down here. All thanks to Dennis and Connection Rio- Dennis is one of truely nice guys who seems to be finishing first. He deserves all the best. If you plan on coming to Rio and training Jiu Jitsu Connection Rio is by far the best option for anyone. Here is the website:

http://www.connectionrio.com

please give them a holler if you plan on coming to Rio to Train JIu JItsu - they will treat you right.

6. Training seems to be going up and down. The previous two weeks I felt that I was making strides but this past week (thus far) I feel like a newbie again. Not sure why - i hope it's just because of the fact that I was sick and feeling sluggish all week.

7. I think the language barrier is what's making it hard to meet gals here - it's easy enough to say hi to them and start those initial sparks - but them not speaking English and me not speaking Portoguese means that the sparks die out pretty quickly. I'm trying to make the effort to learn the language alot more. We'll see how it goes.

Well as is customary I'll end with a tune copied from youtube - in this case it's a song by the band Left Alone entitled "Porcelain." The song starts off with the lyrics:

"Never thought she'd ever want a piece of my love, 'cause blue eyed girls never want to talk. Never thought she'd ever want a piece heart, 'cause guys like me never end up on top."

The lines from this song just hooked me from the first time. I mean cause really coming from southern Alberta the blonde, blue eyed girls never seem to want to talk to guys like me - you know Native, tattooed - I.E. not white. I thought i'd found the one beautiful blue eyed girl who would take a chance on me - see past skin colour that 99% of people in Southern Alberta cannot seem to get past. At least in terms of Natives. Because lets be honest you don't ever see many couple of White and Native backgrounds in Southern Alberta - they are few and far between. But i guess somethings are just too hard to deal with. OH well, what can you do? till next time - stay safe and love life....

Progress can and is a good thing - To a life well lived.

I'm finding it hard to keep up with writing the blog. I wanted to do a couple per week - at the very least. But you know stuff just does not always go as you want it. Most days Im just so tired after training all i can do is eat then try to get to bed or just lie around trying to recoup.

Well not much has been going on; well at least nothing of substantial substance. The days are spent sleeping, training, eating, training and trying to find ways to kill time in between sleeping and training.

Im not sure what's up lately but ive felt really weird - not sure if its the heat or not getting enough liquids - just kind of twitchy. hopefully things get sorted out.

i got a private lesson last a week or so back and it's really helped out with my game. I focused on some of the basics for guard passing. I've noticed a real improvement in my posture and ability to make my opponent uncomfortable and uncertain. Just to clarify I worked on my standing guard passes. I would like to do another private with the focus on standing guard passing again to just help with the kinks. I think once I've learned to do standing guard passes better I will see a rise in my submissions because my top game is pretty decent - well at least for my level. i feel that if i can get my standing guard passing and combine it with the Tozi guard passes that I can become a pretty decent and perhaps one day fearsome guard passer.

so I think that the time is right to go out and meet someone - I said that before but i was not ready. I needed to let go of some more thoughts and emotions and memories. But I do believe part of the experience down here is to meet a gal and affirm that I'm someone worth knowing and someone worth a gals time. Also, to stress to myself that they're are other people out there and that "One" heartless gal is not all there is out there...

Im going to see some fights on Sunday - One of the guys from the gym is fighting (Zoro) and we got some tickets at a reduced price. So that is my weekend plans. other than that I hope that Jason is not to hung over so that we can work on some stuff tomorrow (Saturday).

my Father is back home - he was back in the hospital last week. But from all accounts he is doing alot better now and is on the road to recovery. I cannot wait to see them (family) and see my dad again - strong and healthy.

I've been here a little over a month and I'm finally seeing improvements and progress in my jiu jitsu. As mentioned before I'm starting to hold my own with the guys around my skill and belt level. I'm really determined to get my blue belt by mid to late October and start on my long journey to Purple and even longer journey to the black belt; which will be another journey ... but I'll try not to get ahead of myself.

Well not sure what else to write about if something comes up I'll write about it.

I Found this Youtube clip of my favorite song "Here's looking at you Kid" by The Gaslight Anthem. It's a wonderful live version. Take care will the next time.



p.s. the picture is of a gal from the beach a few weeks back - and is really a statement about what is great about not just Brazil and Rio but life and forgetting the pain and moving on with life....and I do mean that nice looking blonde...ha ha!

Bats in the belfry - Literally!

Another weekend came and went. Time seems to fly down here - of course there are moments when it seems like it is standing still. This usually happens in between training sessions and weekends. It's hard to believe I'll have been here for 5 weeks this Friday. I remember when I got here and was a bit awe struck and thinking that time will never go forward and that I just wanted to go home.

Lot's of things have gone in the past week or so.

1. I attended an MMA show in a large stadium in another part of Rio on Saturday night. There were some big names like Jeff Monson, Pedro Rizzo, Ricardo Arona, Paulo Fihlo. It cost R$50,00 ($50.00 Brazlian dollars) for the tickets and another R$25,00 for the bus ride there and back. Dennis was able to arrange a bus ride for us. The bus driver arrived about 2hrs late and as a result we had to just go straight there - no time to pick up a quick supper or anything. Got there, found the entrance in, found out seats and waited for the fights to begin. Overall, they were not bad but not super great either. The bus ride home was interesting. The fights did not end till about 2am - the bus driver - we had paid for the whole night - had gotten there at about 12am. so he had a little bit of a wait. Anyhow, i think he was pissed off or something and he proceeded to take a long route home then decided to speed through this winding mountain road. Did not say bye to anyone - dropped us off at Camacha's restaurant - a 24hr bar and grill that has some cheap food and usually bad service...but i guess that's part of the charm- then sped off. Overall, a pretty good experience and only my second time out of Barra da Tijuca. The other being the time i got lost on the busses.

2. I'm finally starting to see some little improvements in my Jiu Jitsu. I say this because I am finally starting to hold my own against the blue belts in the academy and depending on who it is - I can survive some of the Purple belts. I'm not getting many subs but not getting subbed as easy as before and getting more and more dominant positions. This is really a good feeling as I was starting to get frustrated and a bit discouraged. I've been told that it usually takes about a month to catch up to the guys that are in you're belt and skill range. The skill level down here is amazing - not that there are not just as skilled guys back home - but the blue belts down here and pretty much every other belt get to roll with browns and blacks on a daily basis. So it's just a lot more skilled guys for the lower belts to learn from. I hope that I can go back home with a profound rise in skill.

3. People are coming and going here at the house. Tomorrow the 2 Irish guys(Paul and Mark) will be leaving. A new guy from Quebec Canada arrived yesterday. Jordan will be leaving in about 2 weeks. Phillip in about 2 and a half, not sure about Alpar - he stays with his girlfriend and is in and out of the house. I'm not sure if any other guys are coming in to the house in the next few weeks. Jason from Australia will be here till November. I just found out the guy from Quebec will be leaving the same day as I am. December 15. It seems so far away but the way that time flies down here. It will be here.

4. I would like to start working on coming back here next June or July. I think that spending time here is good for the soul. Depending on my Parents health I would like to stay for another 4-5 months.

5. I did my first Private lesson today with Rommel Cardozza - a black belt from the guy. We worked on my guard passing. Just some very basic stuff that I was lacking and needed(was not aware of). It was by far the hardest training session I had during my stay here. It occured at about 1pm this afternoon. We ended up in the upper part of the gym and i think all the heat was rising up there. Privates are one hour in length - and it was worth it as Rommel helped me with a lot of little details.

I was completely spent afterwards - came home, showered, walked down with the rest of the guys to grab some lunch, grabbed a coconut and had them chop off the top and I drank the milk inside as Dennis told me it's a good natural way to replenish my electrolytes - kinda like gatorade but with out all the sugar. Which is good because the gatorade down here tastes odd as heck.

I hope to do a few more privates - not as many as I had hoped and initially thought I'd be able to take but a few is better than none.

6. My money situation is still up in the air. I'm waiting on some funding sources as well as the sale of my jeep. Neither of which have come through for me as of yet. I hope that I can get this resolved soon.

7. I'm glad that we are free to roam and leave the house without much trouble. There is a certain individual that is just an annoying, complaining baby. thank god he does not stay here much.

8. I've met a couple of gals but nothing went anywhere. not sure why - just not giving out the right vibe i guess. But hey things will happen when they happen.

9. my dad got put back in the Emergency earlier this week so once again I'm having a hard time dealing with the stress and thoughts that arise from this situation. I'm praying and trying to stay focused and hope that when I return he is back to full health.

i wanted to write more but most days I'm just so tired after evening training - its shower, eat, watch a movie till i fall asleep.

just added a few pics for viewing pleasure..ha ha...

so anyhow, if you read this thanx for taking the time and all the best to you. Will try to keep up as much as possible.

A.

p.s. the reason i named this blog is because a couple of bats made their way into the arena during the fights and during some of the more boring fights - they were the biggest excitement.

If you never let me go I will never let you down.

Another week has come and gone. Time is flying here but at the same time the down time in between training sessions can seem like forever. Lately I've just been so groggy and tired that going out and taking pictures and trying to find new places in Barra da Tijuca has been out of the question.

I think that this is partially due to the fact that I cannot sleep the whole nigh through. Most nights i fall asleep about 1am local time and awake any time in between 3am and 5am - stay away for a few hours then either fall back asleep or stay awake and do the morning training session. Although I must confess that I've been going back to sleep the past week or so. I'm not sure why I'm not getting a full night's sleep. I guess there is still alot on my mind.

This past week has been a bit of a bummer in terms of training. I thought I was making progress but I'm once again finding that I'm getting my butt kicked by pretty much everyone in the gym again. Not sure if it's due to my lack of sleep and general lack of energy or just a down slide or the other guys are improving that much more and I'm stagnating at my current level. I'll try to take in stride and just hope that it's a minor downslide.

the new guys in the house are great to have around and the house seem to be alot more mellow - for the most part at least. So this is totally agreeing with me and my personality.

I was thinking about something one of my house mates said to me last week - he told me something about my jiu jitsu. I had suprised him with a move that i caught him with. He was helping me with my guard passing and then fed me an arm bar but started to roll out of the arm bar and with out thinking in immediately transitioned to the Kimura. This suprised him as he told me he had not seen anyone do this transition. He said something along that "my technique and knowledge is there but that I need to be more confident and believe in myself more." I believe this to be true. That i do lack the killer instinct and that certain "self-centered" quality that alot of jiu jitsu guys (or fighters) have. I'm working on this and it's a day to day thing. I'm pretty mellow by nature so it is a big step for me. Although I do believe quitting my job and coming here to Brazil to pursue one of my passions required alot of confidence and bravery on my part. I do believe that my confidence was shattered last year and throughout most of this year but I'm feeling it coming back - little by little.

I talked to my mom the other day and my dad is back home. He cannot do much and pretty much has to take things easy and rest. But this is a huge relief on my part. One week ago I was ready to go back home to be with my family and my dad. But he is getting better and it's only a matter of time before he's back up and going strong.

One thing i do miss is the fact that I can jump in my vehicle and just drive and go where i want to and not be limited like I am here. I think this is the most I've ever walked as an "Adult". I'm either walking or busing it around. I hope that I can afford to buy a bike so I can do some more exploring around Barra - there is still so much more to see.

I was thinking about when I will be coming home - I'll be here till December 15 and arrive back in Canada December 16 (sometime in the afternoon.) It's going to be blazing hot here in Brazil when I leave but if the past years are any indication - it will be cold and crappy back home in Canada. I'll also be having to live with my parents for awhile. I'm not sure what my plans are when I get back home. I've been thinking that substitute teaching may have to be my job for a while - to make some quick money.

There is a cute gal that sometimes shows up for Jiu Jitsu classes and I got to train with her tonight which was super cool. I also think she lives around my neighborhood. I think I will start showing more interest in her and hopefully things can blossom from there. If not - no biggie - but I would love to get to know this gal. I was too busy trying to focus on the moves that we were shown I did not think to ask her name like I usually do for new training partners. Next time - I will go up and say hi and talk to her. I don't foresee her changing my life but it would be nice to finally move on and take that plunge. You never know till you take that leap!

my sisters where to have come down during the long weekend in October for a quick trip. But with my dad's current health concerns and my mother's health concerns they decided it would be best to stay close to home - just in case. I'm fine with that - Ill survive. It will be comforting to know that they are there for my parents.

I'm going to a big MMA fight card this weekend. so that will be fun and an great experience. I'll definitely post pictures and give a re-cap of the fight night!

I miss going to starbucks and having my usual medium coffee and watching all the pretty girls. then again - Rio is filled to the brim with pretty girls.

I still find myself thinking about things that could have been and what "we" missed out on. But everyday is another day of moving on and healing the wounds that seemed to never heal. One day, One day I'll be something and someone that she will regret letting slip through her hands.

well that's it for now - try to write more - will definitely put up some pics from the fights this weekend.

Peace, love and thong bikinis ;)

just a quick update.

Lot's to talk about but I will keep this one fairly short - take more time to write about everything at a later date. I meant to keep up with the blog alot more but it's been hard to get the energy to write after a long day. But I will do my best.

1. I just found out my dad had a heart attack on monday - so right now Im not sure if I even want to be here anymore. Everyone said it was mild and that I dont have to worry but I am worried and my parents are the only reason I'm still alive and doing fairly well. So I'm conflicted - Im here living out my dream but my mind and heart are now elsewhere. The angel picture above is for my dad - I hope that the angels are looking out for him.

2. There is a weird story from my night out - something to do with shape shifting or people not sure how i managed to do something (will write a longer story about it.)

3. Training is going good. going at least once a day - trying to get the energy to go twice but thus far it's escaping me. But im not stressing because im training more than I was at home anyhow.

4. I think the time is right to try and go out and meet someone here. I know that Im here for Jiu Jitsu but in order to move on I think that you have to start meeting new people. So I hope that I have it in me to move on.

5. It's been really hot here lately - yesterday was 35 C. so hot and today is seeming like it's going to be hotter - 10 am and it's already unbareable here..ha ha - I guess another day of beach and girl watching.

6. Im worried about my money situation - i hope everything comes through for me.

7. Bas left on Sunday - back to Englad. Fernando left yesterday - back to California. Jeremy's mom arrived last Thursday (i think that was the day) and the two Irish guys (names escape me) arrived Sunday. Phillip from Germany arrived Sunday night. so the house is filling up again but everyone seems less about partying so it's all good. Lewis will be leaving next week. People come and they go - I hope i keep in contact with everyone that I've met cause they are all great.

8. my sister Jill's birthday was September 2 - so here's a birthday wish for her.

9. finally transferred my music to the newer i-pod so i can listento music when im wandering about taking pictures which is a great comfort (Gaslight anthem all the way!)

10. my portuegese is not coming along very well - i thought by now id have more of a grasp but nothing seems to be sticking. I hope that it comes along soon.

well i have alot on my mind - i hope that things work for the best and that my dad gets better so that my mind can be put at ease. a better blog will be coming soon.

"I wait for you as the cold rain falls away - but my heart is true"

peace and love!

Second Chances, lost causes, Redemption and moving on...

So this past week has been my most memorable - in terms of my stupidity - yet probably the few days I would like to forget most during my time here in Brazil.

All of last week was rainy and overcast here in Rio. Not much sun out; hence the beach has been out of the question for the past week or so. Also, add to the equation that i was stuck in the common room with 4 other guys. Which meant that people were coming in and out of the room, sometimes drunk, sometimes with friends (females) which lead to some high stress levels, add to the boredom of just being couped up in the house because of the weather. Well something had to give.

Well something did give. My sobriety was what ended up giving out Friday night. I had made the personal vow to abstain from booze and drinking while I'm down here. For health reasons but also because of the fact that everything that has gone wrong in my life has been because of drinking or gotten worse because of drinking. Long short - booze is my downfall.

It all began Friday - the Ecudorians were leaving that night at 3am but a large group from Romania had already arrived and were pretty much in the living room area waiting for the other group to leave. People were going in and out of the room all day and night. I was pretty tired and annoyed by this time. I mean after the last week I was pretty irritable. Well, we were told that the bar Oswaldo's had a 50 Credit (drinks) for the guys in the house. I was not going to go out but the rain was pouring and there was nothing to do. So i figured I'd just go down to the bar and hang out for a while then walk home.

Well that plan went out the door. I decided a couple of beers would be okay - nothing more. Well I could go on and on but really - it did not stop at 2 beers. I keep going and going and lost count. Anyhow, I somehow managed to get home but ended up getting sick all over my bed as well as another room mates bed and just basically being a drunken idiot.

I spent all saturday - day and night - in bed unable to move. I was about as sick as could be. I woke up sometime Saturday morning and cleaned up the mess then went back to bed. Not sure of what time this was as I was in a daze most of the time. I finally awoke about noon on Sunday and crawled outta bed, washed up, went for something to eat, came back home and went back to bed.

I can only hope that I`ve not pissed anyone off or done anything that is really bad; you see I cannot remember most of the night. so hence my worries.

At some point during my drunkeness I decided it would be a good thing to write Molly and ask her why she wrote me outta the blue then did not get back to me when I told her what I was up to and where I was headed. She wrote back and said sorry that she had meant to write but did not - no reason; she just didn't. Which I think is utter B,S, but what can you do? I had really hoped the "molly" saga had ended and that I was going to move on and Rio(brazil) was going to bring some new things worth having in my life. But for whatever reason she decided to contact me 2 days before I left and then decided to not contact me after that. That left me heartbroken all over again - I thought maybe she would have been excited for me, wished me luck, taken a chance on me before I left. I mean there has to be a part of her that does see something in me... Or perhaps she just likes guys to fall for her for she can lead them on and feel good about knowing that someone will always fall for her over and over again - NO matter how much she hurts them.

I've taken a couple of days off of training to heal my body, mind and soul. Now some may say this is the weak way or pussy way. But until you've lived in my mind and my hell - you can't say shit about what I'm doing. I trained for 2 weeks straight - so 2 days off will not hurt me much. Even if I'm only here till October - I continue to want a certain person and deep down I know she's wrong for me. All the time that I've actively pursued her - she's done thing but let me down, hurt me, give me mixed signals and lead me on. She is the main source of my of pain and anxiety and hurt. I cannot lie and say I was over her before I left but i can say I was ready to leave that sadness behind and find some new happiness. But she jumped back into my life and messed it all up-I did not want her back in but she got back in and it's hard for me to let her go again.

I will be up tomorrow to do the morning training session - my first since Friday. I like making it to the morning session as it sets the tone for the day. Plus if my body is not feeling good later on I know that I've trained once in the day. I hope that the weather clears up and that the sun shines soon.

I wonder why some people cannot commit to something or someone but yet want to know what makes 'me' tick and insist on injecting themselves into my life.

Are second chances worth it - if something is dead and gone? I can believe that second chances are vital if you've fucked things up and seek redemption for your failings and screw ups. To show that you're more than what the mess up portrayed.

lost causes are painful to deal with - doubly if it's a lost cause that involves feelings, your heart and a girl who is unattainable.

moving on is hard, lonely, painful, inspiring, exciting and sad. I wish that moving on did not mean having to end things completely but I guess that's what needs to be done sometimes.

Moving on sometimes is a day to day thing and sometimes it's a minute to minute thing. All you can do is keep hoping that you can hold out long enough to find that sunshine that is out there.

End with a fitting song...

Going to the mall - taking the wrong bus back: Adventures in Public Transportation - & various goings on...

I have not written an update in while (well a few days at least.) Alot has changed and gone on since my last post. So here goes:

1. We've had some new people move into the house and they taken over the part of the house i was initially staying in. They're 14 people from Ecuador living in that part of the house. They mainly keep to themselves and seem to have their own private bus service. They arrived last saturday - the day that Johnny and Nicky left. They ended up being really loud their first night here - they were up having some sort of dance party till at least 7am Saturday night/Sunday morning. Not very fun at all. They seem to have cooled down and are training but not sure where. someone said they are training at Gracie Barra or Minotauro's gym. Either way they are usually gone all day and come in during the evening make noise, go to sleep, then do it all again the next day. They will be here till the weekend then they will leave to go back home. Which is good because I will be able to move back to my little part of the house. right now there are 4 of us in one common room which leaves little "Alone Time." Long short - they can't leave soon enough.

2. The 3 English guys left - first it was Nick and Johnny on Saturday. Then Antony left early Monday morning. So the house is a bit more quiet then it was when I first arrived. They were all really great guys - I'm glad that I got the opportunity to meet all 3. Safe journey's to all of them.

3. The weekend was hell. I got not sleep Friday as the guys went out because Nick and Johnny were leaving. They came back at like 5am and Antony and Jordan ended up getting into a big time argument that almost came to fist-a-cuffs. so that keep me up Friday night. Then i had to wake up early because the large group from Ecuador were arriving that morning. Saturday was more of the same - Antony, Jordan, Fernando, Bas all got drunk then came back with some gals and loudness ensued. Of course once they settled down the Ecuadorians decided to have their dance party till 7 am. Needless to say it was a crappy weekend for sleep. I was pretty pissed off. I think anyone would be.

4. Training is going good but my age is showing as everyday it's like being run over by a trunk. I hope that i can keep this up and stay relatively injury free. I would be so upset if i got a major injury. right now my elbow are sore - sorta like a tennis elbow thing. We did some judo throws last night and that always does it for me.

5. I'm starting to find my way around the Barra (my part of Rio) and i've begun to explore and do some picture taking. There is alot of down time in between training in the morning and training in the evening. It's been kinda of chilly the past few days so the beach is outta the question. I do worry that I'll attract the wrong attention with my camera. But you know you have to take a chance on life and hope for the best - which is exactly my attitude.

6. I think I will try to do a private lesson with one of the black belts this week (Friday or Saturday) to help with my Guard passing. I do believe it will be Homeo (not sure of the spelling) that I'll have to talk with about doing a private session for guard passing as that is his forte; or so I've been told.

7. There is a really pretty gal that lives on our street and one of the guys that stays here - Ipar(not sure of the spelling but he is from Germany) said he's seen her around here before. So maybe, just maybe there is some hope to forget about that Blue Eyed Heartbreaker from Raymond Alberta. I hope so - I'd love to meet somone new.

8. So today I decided to go to the Barra Shopping Centre - which is the largest shopping centre in South America - Again i've been told this so I'd have to clarify this for sure. But it is huge - i only explored one floor because it was that big and after a morning training session I was super tired and did not want to do so much walking. I was told that it was very expensive there and that it was not worth buying anything there. Upon my visit to Barra Shopping this was confirmed. Everything is so over priced. For instance, i was looking at some Addidas shoes and they were R$68,00 but this 5 payments of R$68,00. Most people cannot afford to buy them outright so they have the option of paying for shoes in installments - that's hard to wrap my head around. That is life down here.

I wandered around then decided to head home and go to sleep so I could attempt to train tonight. I took some pictures of the mall - but got told that taking pictures is a no-no; which is strange because I was told it was okay to do so. Anyhow, the pictures are of some of the sights at Barra Shopping. After picture taking i made my way to the bus stop and waited for number 175 bus - lots of buses came and went and finally I noticed a bus approaching that had 175 on the front. So took my R$2,20 and got ready to board it. Payed my fare, grabbed a seat and prepared to get close to home so I could walk home and get some sleep. Well the plan took a big detour. I cannot say for sure where I ended up but all I know is that we hit some free way and went into a long tunnel. Once we exited the tunnel we passing by a Favala (those shanty towns that are off limits to anyone not from there.) So at this point I started to freak out a bit. I took out the map that Dennis gave me with the address for the house and took it to the money lady on the bus (you pay the lady and she give you change if you need it and she lets you in the turn stile. Anyhow, she said that i was on the wrong bus and that i would have to wait till they got to the central and I would have to find the bus to Barra da Tijuca.

So we got to central - which I assume is downtown. The lady pointed me in the direction of the buses I needed to check for the 175 Barra da Tijuca. Eventually I found the right bus, payed my fare and then sat on it for about an hour till i got to the main bus stop in Barra. Needless to say i was tired, hungry, and a bit shocked at my busing adventure. The only problem was that I did not take pictures because we passed some shady parts of town and I did not want to take the chance of being robbed, or worse.

on the upside i got to see the areas of Copacabana and Ilmpana - the places I was going to stay originally. Let me tell ya - I'm glad I did not as it is way, way, way too far from Barra. So despite the packed house - I'm glad Im here as I've met some cool house mates and they've all helped me find my bearings here in Brazil.

so that was my big adventure - Barra Shopping then the two hour, scenic route, bus ride.

I skipped training tonight as my arms were still killing me and I was dead tired from my days adventure. I will wake up early and get to the morning training and hopefully my arms are feeling better so i can Train twice tomorrow.

Well that is my little update for now - I hope that I don't take as long to update next time. I just got busy and did not have as much time to write.

take care and all the best to anyone who reads this.

A.

Nick at night and angry Johnny!

I've not written in this for a few days as it's been busy and by the time I have time to write I've been dead tired. Still adjusting to the time difference and sleeping in a foreign bed. The nights have been pretty chilly (well at least the past few nights have been.) I was going to train in the morning this week but have slept in 3 days in a row so i've been training in the evenings. I wanted this week to be my break in period. next week I will try and get in 2-3 days of training twice a day and see how the body handles it.

Well this coming week is going to be chaos. The two English brothers Nick and Johnny are leaving tomorrow morning. In their place we are getting like 10 people from Argentina (not positive but that is what I've heard.) So my self and the German fella Ipar get booted from our side of the house and have to move in with the other 3 guys on the other side of the house. This is going to prove to be a real challenge. Up to now I've had some privacy but that is going to go all out the window. I wish things could have been better planned but what can you do.

Anyhow, I will miss Johnny and Nick as they brought life to the house and were on the easy going side. Always cracking jokes and seeing the bright side of things. They have been here for about a month and they got some crazy stories that they told me that I won't repeat here. There lack of presence in the house will leave a gap that I don't think will be filled for the duration of my time here.

So I ended up asking Dennis if he could draw me a map and give me directions to the post office today. I had some documents that I needed to have my mother deliever for me but I had forgot them in my carry on bag. My parents dropped me off and told me to go check in. I got my tickets and then got cattled into the USA immigration line. I did not realize that I could not go back out and see my family before I left. Which was a very shitty feeling and part of the reason I was really bummed out those first few days. Family is important to me and my family has supported me through all my decisions including coming to Brazil to pursue a dream for awhile. Anyhow, I could not give my parents those documents - long short I finally got them off so my parents can deliever them for me.

After the post office I went to the beach and found the guys there - Nick, Johnny, Anthony, Bas, Jordon. Hung out for a bit and then we went home. The beach was cold today and I still have that congestion in my chest that wont go away.

I went to the 6:30 training session tonight. They are getting better and I hope that in time I'll get back up to par and then beyond par. Well just before the session ended the instructor (keep forgetting his name - can only remember Gordo but he is gone for a few days.) Made a little speech then called up the two brothers Nick and Johnny and presented them with their blue belts. So congrats to my British buddies and good hard work. I hope that I can keep in contact with them. But sometimes things don't always go the way you want. If i don't see them again it was a great pleasure getting to know them - if only for a week. They will be missed by everyone.

Restaurant Fronteira - All you can eat Pizza for R$15,00

So today (August 11, 2009 - posted day later) was my second day of training. It went alot better in terms of not feeling so drained and beat up like the first day. I got to roll with one black belt today - which is great because it shows me how much I have to learn. I guess with JIU JITSU you can spend your life learning something new - which is the best approach IMHO.

Got back from my morning training session showered up and ate the other half of my chicken, rice and beans meal from the previous night. I Went straight back to bed as I feel that I need to rest as much as possible if I want to keep up a regular training schedule. Woke up and felt a bit hungry so I walked down to the bakery and ended up just getting junk food (doritos, a bottle of coke, some candy) which was not a wise idea as I felt like crap after eating them.

I decided I would try to sleep of some more of the flu I have - which helped when I did eventually wake up as I felt so much better. Everyone had gone to the evening training session so I was alone for a bit. Everyone got back and Anthony - one of the Brits - showed me some of the pictures he took when he and two other housemates climbed the big mountain behind our house. From what I've been told it's a very scary climb - huge spiders, giant ants that attack, and near vertical climbing near the end of the climb. Not sure if that will be part of my agenda as I am deathly afraid of heights. Anthony has even said he would never do that again - it's that dangerous. But it does offer the best view of Rio. I think I'll just catch a cab to the Christ statue an get my good view of Rio that way.

Anyhow, Jeremy asked if I wanted to come along for all you can eat pizza for R$15, 00 (about $8.00 Can). Of course I said yeah. Once everyone was finished we walked off on the same path towards Barra beach. We passed over the overpass (walkway across the freeway) and instead of going straight to the beach took a right and headed down along the free way and made our way to Restaurante Fronteira.

We (Jeremy, Gisele, Nicky, Johnny and I) walked in and were seated immediately. We were each asked what we would like and Jeremy, with help from Gisele, stated that we would like all you can eat pizza and pop. So the waiters dropped by our table and gave us some plates and utensils. I was not sure what we were to do. I viewed a salad bar of some sorts and assumed that was were we were to eat. But I was told that the waiters walk around and with pizzas and just ask random tables if we would like a slice. And it pretty much continues this way throughout your meal. Waiter comes by, you check out the pizza and either take a slice or not. A very unique way to serve all y0u can eat pizza I must say as I was expecting like a buffet or something along those lines. Being served all you can eat pizza by waiters who come around with the pizza as opposed to having to get up each time to a new slice - interesting.

Pizza was very tasty and for the first time ever I've eaten desert pizza. I tried few but only took a picture of the chocolate with strawberries pizza. Mmm, yummy stuff.

My only compliant is that going from eating mostly chicken, rice and beans to pizza was a shock to the system and did not do anything to help with my acid reflux - I sense a rough nights sleep. But so worth it...All you can eat pizza....!

First Day of Training, First venture out alone..

I trained for the first time today. The gym is just around the corner. The first training session starts at 8 am. This is the time I will use to break myself in. This week I will go once a day and get my body used to the rigors of training. Next week I'll try to amp it up to twice a day - not sure how long I can keep that up - it's very hard on the body.

Well training went fairly well - got to roll with 2 black belt and they had their way with me. It was humbling and exciting all at once. I really hope that I can stay injury free and take advantage of the training opportunity that is presented to me.

got home from training - showered up and walked down to the grocery market - picked up some bread and fruit. walked back home ate some bread, a banana and drank some chocolate milk. I was going to go to bed but got invited for lunch with Jeremy. So we walked down to Camacho's a little bar and grill that sells super cheap Chicken, rice, beans, and veggie - all that for R$9 (about 5 bucks in Canadian Funds.) I was not very hungry so I decided to just order a bowl of Acai and a coke zero.

After lunch Jeremy went to the market and I headed to the beach. It's a very long walk when you're tired. Made it to the beach. Did some swimming sunning. In the 4 days that I've been here in Brazil I've tanned so much. I wonder how dark I'll get by the time I leave for home.

After the beach some of the guys went for tacos and 3 of us just went back home. I got home and went straight to bed. This cold is really pushing my boundaries and strength. All I can hope for is that it clears up soon and I can actually breath.

woke up and showered by this time everyone else had gone to train for the evening. I decided to walk down to Camacho's. I somehow managed to order the chicken and rice and 2 litre coke zero. Ate and somehow managed to convey to the waiter that I wanted it packed up. Good stuff!

Well, I'm going to be going to bed soon. Get up early and go train. Live the dream. You know. It's definitely not as lonely now that I've figured out some of this neighborhood. I'll keep going forward.

My first day of training and my first venture out to eat - by myself... I think I'm doing good.

All day at the Beach

I woke up a bit late - I seem to have contracted the cold that everyone in the house has and it's playing hell with my system. But I managed to drag myself outta bed by 11 am Rio time which would 8 am back home.

It was quickly decided that we would go to the beach today as it was scorching hot this morning. So everyone got ready, guys headed out early and I ran to catch up. I dressed for the beach this time and wore my surf shorts for swimming. We Stopped at this Burger joint along the way and had Breakfast/Lunch. I had a burger with orange juice and a small Acai smoothie.

Again, i must stress the Acai drinks back home are crap, pure crap compared to the Acai here - so darn good. Like if you ever get the chance to come to rio get a bowl of Acai - with granola if you like - you'll be addicted. Plus they have amazing qualities - most antioxidants of any known fruit or veggie, natural elctrolytes on par with Gatorade (minus the processed sugar), omega 3 on par with salmon...just a great all round fruit. If you're stuck in Lethbridge go to booster juice and get one of the Acai Juice bottles - not as great but you get the idea.

So after our meal we headed down to Barra Beach. By this time there was a bit of a mist in the air and it cooled down considerably. Once we got to the beach we picked up some lawn chair that we were supposed to cost R$2 (2 dollars in Brazilian Currancy) but ended up costing me like R$6 - go figure? I guess we got "Gringo'd."

the Beach was awsome - we pitched up near the outter edge as a result it was less crowded; which was great. Because this is my first time near the ocean I'm in there quite a bit (well the 2 days I've been there). It's great - it's like swimming in epson salt...ha ha!

We spent the day at the beach although the ocean was warmer the sun was not as hot as yesterday. Apparently the young lad who invited us to play paint ball is Renzo Gracie's nephew - the kid was built like a tank. Everyone here is so friendly they always wanna shake hands, smile, and the gals love to kiss and get close when they are leaving (Ciao!)

I really like the beach and the long 30 minute or so walk to the beach. I would like to spend as much time there. I was going to train at Gracie Barra which is right near the beach but it's way too far and if I'm going to be training 2 times a day I'd like to not have to walk so far in the dark (it's winter here so it gets dark early). But Gracie Fusion is just around the corner and much more convienent.

I think the key to being my loneliness is just to get out and do something with others or once I get to learn the neighborhood better by myself. Hope you enjoy the pics - I'm going to bed soon as it's already 10pm and I need to be up early to get to morning training.

Still miss my family tonnes but it's getting alot better - I still need to find a way to phone them more - skype is the best option but I don't have a credit card. Things will work themselves out.